知足

let this be a constant reminder to zhi zu!

習慣

我以爲已經習慣

我以爲已經習以爲常

**************************

終于決定/選擇了

或許原本就不應該繞這一條道

現在繞回去了！

又可以買很多筆和熒光筆哈哈哈。。

你們擔心我一時衝動，沒啦，這是遲早的嘛

（也是你們希望的？哈哈）

**************************

有一點隱隱作痛~~不用再給什麽提示了啦

我雖然傻但我不笨！

我會很努力很努力把你當透明的。。。

1 july

it was a half crazy half ren xing decision by two very grouchy and upset ppl

and i think we r on our way to fulfilling my dream??

of watching a proper mayday concert in xiao ju dan.

i guess i should be more excited but it hasn’t been a good day today

a day of wearing a smiling mask and keeping the tears back

fuck la. i hate being so false to even myself.

i’m such a stupid onion.

i m so sick of working. so sick of radio. i need to keep looking.

somewhere out there there should be something better for me

it was an OUCH tt caused tears so instantly i was shocked myself.

revival

yep haven’t been blogging for like maybe a mth? haha i can see cobwebs here aredi..

i guess when u dun blog abt 1 or 2 things, then u stop blogging all together cos sub-consciously u wanna clear the “backlog” budden it gets piled up n u r like o well forget it!

work. nah, dowan to blog abt it. i’m very anti the new thing cos it took away yao from us. BOO. this is the shutdown week – a very nice term for the cut pay plus leave policy which i realised last mth tmd it’s a damn big cut la. if mx nv remind me to go check my acc i think i wouldn’t hav realised it was such a big cut. so when u face shit at work n u tink of tis cut, u realise y the hell did u study so much last time to suffer where u r now.

oops dowan to blog became 4 lines. it’s easier to blog abt angsty stuff!

play. being a very not hardworking person i try to play as much as i can. LOL. so, too many things to blog abt! i love everyone who played with me! i love my swimming lessons too..

travel. bintan twice in the last mth, taman negara this sat. gotta start saving for EOY, tho duno can come true or not. maybe, i should finali stay in sg for the countdown, and jus watch ashin (and the 101 fireworks) on tv. or maybe, can someone (can it be us?) bring md over for a countdown party! tho it’s gonna b shitty cos audience will be forced to pay for entry. unlike tw where it’s jus free for all!

misc. i love watching track on tv!

ok eng, i blogged. haha

SWIMMING

I DID IT

after talking about it since like forever, and failing to learn how from frens more than X times, i decided to just whack

and so i just submitted my registration online

i’m now a student of Happy Fish Swim School

ahahhaa so lame rite the name but it kinda attracted me amongst the others i found

but actually i can’t swim till 9 june (a mth after lasik) so lessons can’t start till 3 wks later

4 mths after i start lessons i m so gg tioman/KK/redang!!

but i read somewhere when i was googling jus now tt “swimming is not for weight loss”

o nooo!

ok.. i can start shopping for swimwear heehee

can feel the adrenaline rushing through me rite now!!

maybe i shud overcome my other “disability” too – cycling!! ahahaha

my 2009 will be so amazing if that happens =)

i am so gonna have work-life balance ahahaha

good

i like things moving bcos of helpful and can-make-it ppl

no silly stupid ppl standing in the way of deadlines

now, pls keep it like that can?

woah

pms is scary

how it suddenly hits, no matter wat u r doing

n today, it hit right smack in the middle of the meeting

n i watched in some disgust the ongoings

n was even more disgusted by myself when i joined in

how much of everything was real n how much is just an act we’re all putting on?

ok maybe everyone was real n i was the only one acting

n then the silly things tt affected me so much later on

like, hello it’s not the 1st time. stop being so crappily affected can?

n being nearly half n hr late for jap made the pms worse

sianz

blasting their songs on the bus home, i tot of how i’m not counting down to their concert

y har

cos still so long away?

or cos i knowingly and willingly fall prey to marketing tactics?

then the link to having the right connections

which doesn’t make this world any fairer then it aredi isn’t

n the link to guessing n understanding

or rather, the failure to do so correctly

n suddenly i realised 16 may is this sat

oh. this could have been the last week.

heh. not regretting. just… thought of it.

vision reborn

yep.. we went for it.. and it’s successful! consultation and op yesterday, 1st review today. next review in ten days.

but i mus say i was cursing throughout the operation, which probably took only like 5mins in total. haha.. there’s this part where doc says to not blink for 20 secs, that’s the worst 20secs of my life man.  not to mention focusing anywhere, i totally can’t open my eyes at all, save for that thing keeping it open. cos it’s fucking painful!!! like, i wanted to say STOP if i know it’s stoppable. but i can’t stop when the cornea flap has already been made rite! i tink i cried, but can’t tell exactly cos i was aredi tearing like mad.

luckily i called vio t send me home cos when i came out of the OT i could only keep repeating hen tong hen tong to the nurse (the staff there r nice, heng). n the nurse had to put antibiotic eyedrops for me, i was like i can’t open!! she’s like dun worry i help u open. hahaha..

if any enhancement is needed (which is free for mc staff lei) i dun tink i can go thru another of this! n when i initially went into the OT the doc was like hi karine how r u, n my reaction was can i tell u i’m damn scared.. he’s like everyone is! duhh so helpful leh… hahaha but i like him cos he gives me a sense of authority, like u can trust him.

n today he said the astig is all gone. wah so amazing! my astig is damn high, in the left eye the deg of myopia n astig is equal can u imagine!! 225.. right eye astig is 175. wa piang. wat have i been doing?

anw it’s still rather sensitive now, i’m typing without looking at the screen most of the time haha.. the thing i missed most last nite was facebook! cos had to take sleeping pill n sleep when u get home. anw the eyes couldn’t be opened. haha.. but today, clear liao!! yep qt amazing. my dad is VERY amazed. keeps looking at my eyes n i’m like hellloo the eye looks the same can.

n i learnt one other thing.. dun laugh at ppl wearing shades indoors ok, cos mayb it’s some eye condition n not vanity!! hahaha..

looooong “wkn”

that is more than a weekend, cos i effectively had half a day “off” work on wed thanks to a sudden bout of fever, and my long wkn began on thurs with an MC. today (fri) and next mon are MCDOs hence i actuali have a 5-day break. woah. tt’s scary cos i’m more used to complaining abt having no break. haha. o well, enjoy it while it lasts, that’s wat everyone says.

spent yesterday n today watching the entire season 3 of criminal minds, plus 2 episodes of season 4. had to draw myself away from the lappie cos i have to do my jap hwk tonite. which yay i finished! well ok, effectively not yet 100% finished cos there’s the listening part but i’m jus tooo lazy to pop in the cd now..

i’ll go gaga abt CM once i finish watching everything. haha..

might be doing lasik tmr if i pass the consultation stage.. wonder wat’ll happen after tt? hmm..

高談闊論

阿信的老師說的，大學是個高談闊論的地方

也對，那是踏入社會之前，最後一個可以“亂亂講”的地方

工作了，沒法再高談闊論了

到處都是隔墻有耳，處處都是埋伏著的陷阱

6年前的我因爲一個瘋狂而走上一條我19年來從沒想過要走的路

在外人看來風光的地方，我成爲了粉碎朋友心中那美好印象的人

別天真了

我，想念可以和老師頂嘴的日子

想念有學姐、有教練的日子

想念翹課時翻越“城牆”的日子

那是一段不管做多少錯事都不會“殃及無辜”，不會哭到要死的日子

是一段不管發生什麽事，那一堆“共犯”都會站在同一陣綫上抵抗老師的日子

我想，我們懷念的，就是那種團結的精神

不需要什麽高談闊論的機會，只要可以找回那一段日子的我

和你們

那一年天空很高風很清澈 從頭到腳趾都快樂

bintan on mayday

and with a fellow mayday fan! haha.. come to think of it, it’s the first time we go overseas tgt, n i wish i wasn’t injured, else we’d have an even better time!

i shud talk abt my injury first. it’s damn ridiculous la. was in a bent position packing my bag at 6am. coughed once. at the second cough which was rather strong, i felt my entire waist buckle in pain and i couldn’t stand nor sit. for a spilt second i tot i was paralysed! after i felt tt it was more stabilised i continued packing – n realise i had trouble walking. i guess the sensible thing to do would be forgo the trip, but it was just the 2 of us n i reali felt it was silly.. so stubborn me managed to get out of hse, got on cab, headed to sq’s hse n to tanah merah ferry terminal.

so this throbbing pain, made worse everytime i bent down, walked up/down slopes, walk faster, followed me the whole trip. i can’t adjust my position in bed without getting up n lying down again =( n bcos of this, i strained my neck too!! cos can’t used waist to get up, so used neck. ouch.

anyway. i snorkelled. haha.. cannot walk properly can snorkel! the guide dived down and brought back a sea urchin, which he pried open on the boat to let us try. super fresh! we saw nemo! n sq saw jellyfish! she kindly told me “nothing” when i asked her y she scream, cos she tot i’d freak out. haaha.. according to her, the guide holding me was leading us straight towards it n calmly told her “jellyfish”. LOL. but the water not very clear.. tioman’s much nicer!! the guide was funny tho, kept throwing bread ard sq to attract the fishes, cos he knew sq would freak out. haha..

came out, nua in the sea by the beach, then nua in the pool.. where i realised trying to learn how to swim with an injured waist is not very smart. PAINNNNN.. it wasn’t so pain during snorkelling cos i think the life jacket provided much support. i almost can’t walk liao.. after showering we headed out to find dinner.. walked A LOT n i felt i was dying. hungry and painful!

but then we settled for a pizza, then checked out the pub. booked ktv for 2hrs later. i had a nap which i tot was good, the pain seemed to have subsided. sang old old songs and realli had fun! drank too =D singing songs frm sec sch days with a sec sch fren. amazing nostalgia. anw wu yue tian in their system was u yie tien. wth! we spent the first 10 mins figuring out the easiest way to use the system lor. haha

sang till midnight sg time, went back room n ordered room svc.. ate sinful stuff n i fell asleep straight after! poor sq. haha.. she had to ja-ga all the switches cos i was like paralysed in bed.

couldn’t get late check out, i couldn’t go into water again so we took an earlier ferry back. went tampines thereafter.

short getaway, din do much but i still tink it was a good one =D

hmm

something is wrong with wordpress in IE. or is it just me? the dashboard is all out and weird.

i realise it’s been 2 wks since i blogged

it’s monday now, n i need to constantly be reminded tt i’ll b gg bintan this fri

things i can blog abt r limited, so will just leave it as such

i’m actuali waiting for my restaurant to hit 14000 (13948 now) so i can hit the nxt level n i can go sleep

haha

3 four-day weeks in a row, qt shiok actualli

one more the week after

13982 now

i tried to study jap jus now, but not v efficient cos was watching star awards

i tink we all criticize too much sometimes

but u just can’t help it

otherwise there’s no joy in watching rite! haha..

13994

ok i can post tis aredi

have a good week ahead!

=D

countdown 17 days to (free) bintan and 70 days to (exciting) taman negara/kl.

=D loving the current state of things.

random aust in aug came up during break jus now, mayb, just mayb it will work out!

it’s been a looooong time since i blogged happy stuff

jap was good. the familiar likes gg class dun like doing hwk. this familiarity makes me happy.

and million singer made me high! thanks to ella.

i wanna go k soooooooon!!

loooooong wkn

made longer by our first MDO on Thurs.. so that’s 4 days of break!

plans to go to a proper island were shelved but managed to get myself out of this island still – 2D1N batam tmr and sun with min & the MAs..

harrowing experience with this travel agency. i didn’t know it was an agency! haha… just book online from googling, so i tot it’s just some internet company, everything can b done online. so convenient rite! wrong! firstly i booked on fri nite and their reply on sat morn was sent to my spam (bad sign) so not seeing anything in my inbox i called them on mon. they resent, and i replied with the necessary details on mon evening. tues and wed were spent chasing for the confirmation – i totally understand u need some processing time but the best part is the hotel (holiday inn, not some shabby place) had said rooms were available so we din understand y cannot confirm leh? but apparently the agency person also duno y. she say the hotel manager was now handling it personally, give him till thurs morn. so ok it was confirmed n she told me to go her ofc to make payment, n i was like har cannot funds transfer meh.. den ok lo go down lo.. n she said hotel voucher not ready so will email me.. n i paid 20 bucks extra cos i refused to walk to nearest atm to withdraw cash cos i was in HEELS n FORMAL wear and had walked freaking a lot in the morn – so i’d rather pay 3% to use cc. pui. n until tis morn stil nothing in my mail.. till 15mins ago when she called frm home (in msia) and said she just sent over.. and apologised for the delay due to technical errors in batam..

PHEW. very relieved i finali see the voucher. lesson learnt, should have just booked directly with hotel and gotten the ferry separately. cos she couldnt get the timings i wanted also.

***********

so, that’s batam. v v v short getaway tt was like harder to plan compared to taiwan! bleh. hope it’ll b good. and i can think through things as well. i’m told to write down the lists of pros and cons before making any decision. i’ll try that!

anw yesterday was qt eventful with me waking up early, leaving hse early, but timing got changed and i whiled time away taking buses.. then gg with sq to sign her letter b4 gg to the travel agent and finalli to mar’s hse where i could finalli change out and switch to casual. i like! best part was, she was on last min half day.. i <3 spontaneous!

we were supposed to go vivo.. no idea y but we were aredi waiting for the bus when she suddenly said wan to go do fish spa.. n so we went ulu fish farm! i happily said we can cab in den take shuttle out.. then when we arrived the first thing i saw was the shuttle bus banner with VIP words “on weekends and public holidays only”. roar! but anw dun care, we had a fab time with the fishes haha.. cos it wasn’t crowded so we had all the fishes to ourselves!

supposed to go vivo after tt.. but on the train i suddenly remarked “i haven’t gone to the new jurong point!” and so.. we went to jp! OMG i totally can’t recognise the place! i was trying to visualise wat it was like last time.. but failed miserably. so invariably, i was very lost. hahaa.. there’s a lot of food there lor if i were still in cs now i tink we’d go crazy with all those food choices.

by 7 i was VERY tired liao. felt like a super looooong day.. i also realised i spent like 6 bucks taking buses and trains the whole day. omggg

ok it’s 510pm now.. time to bathe n go meet the lamers.. but i duno how we r gonna eat at gluttons bay when it is raining… n i’m lazy to upload pics so pardon the wordy post.. if u read all the way here it’s either u love me or u r too bored or u r just kpo wahahhaah.. nvm i will still <3 u!

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OMG

the first thing i saw logging in to fb was cruz’s status stating that 阿桑 had passed away this morn. for a while i thought it was some belated april fools’ joke.

but omg omg it’s true and this singer of 葉子 is really gone. actually i’m only familiar with this song and 一直很安靜, out of her two albums. but it’s just a deep sense of pity for her to leave like that

hope she’s in a better place now

tonight is a depressing night. i was thinking too much abt things n forgot to get down the bus at the correct stop. i… need to write to ashin…

我搞不懂我們到底怎麽了
真實的背後是否隱藏傷痛